Cast your


pronouncing the word—then addressing You bet !softly answered the light the bride who stood in the foreground, hearted Nancy. and hung her head in confusion, he ad- The Judge then took the hands of the ded,

"I spose you're the plaintiff. happy couple, and joining them, wound Well, don't take on. Innocence and vir- up the business as follows: tue will be protected by this here court.“It now r-r-remains for this h-h-here

This was the saddest blunder of all. C-C-Court to pronounce you, J-J-oe BowThe judge was again made to see his mis- ers, and y-y-you, Nancy Harkens, man take, and would have been considerably and wife; and ” (here the Judge paused set back, had it not been for a corrective to wipe the perspiration from his face,) in the shape of “forty drops of the crit “m-may G-G-God Or-mity h-h-have merter," which he instantly applied. cy on y-y-y-our s-s-s-ouls !” Sheriff, re

In a few moments all was ready in move the culprits!" right down earnest. The bridegroom The

company roared. Joe and Nancy had arrived, full of joy. The bride in weakened. The Sheriff was taken with

gorgeous array,” stood at his side. a leaving. The Judge let himself out The company pressed forward. The ex- loose in a glass of apple jack. Taken by citement was intense. The judge never and large, it was the greatest wedding looked so dignified in his life. He evi- ever witnessed. dently felt every inch a judge.

Look here, young man ! “J-J-o-e B-B-B-0-w-e-r-s," commenced the man of law, in that distressing style

eye over this. It may do you good. And of speech with which he was invariably

when you have read it, stick it in

some place where you will be apt to see troubled when under the influence of

it at least once a day. It is equal to fifty liquor, “J-J-0-e B-B-B-0-w-e-r-s, stand

of our modern “sensation up. Have y-y-you anything to s-s-say w-w-hy s-s-sen-t-tence,”

Keep good company. Never be idle.

If your hands cannot be usefully emStop, stop, stop, Judge,” shouted the ployed, attend to the cultivation of your Sheriff from the back part of the room. mind. Always speak the truth. Make " You are not going to hang the man, few promises. Live up to your engage

ments. Keep secrets, if you have any. but marry him.”

When you speak to a person, look him The Judge drew a long breath and in the face. Good company and good blinked rapidly, but stood his ground character is above all things else. Your well. Recovering himself, he proceeded: character cannot be essentially injured “J-J-oe B-B-B-owers, do y-you t-t-take except by your own acts. If any one

speaks evil of you, let your life be so that Nancy H-H-Harkens for y-y-your wife, no one will believe him. Drink no inso h-h-elp you God ?”

toxicating liquors. Ever live (misfortune This was a tolerable effort, and Joe excepted) within your income. When nodded assent.

you retire to bed, think over what you

have been doing the day. Make no haste “N-N-Nancy Harkins, it now remains to be rich, if


prosper. Small for this here C-C-Court to~"

and steady gains give competency, with Ilere the Sheriff again interrupted the tranquility of mind. Never play at any Judge, reminding him of the real busi- game of chance. Avoid temptation, thro

fear you might not withstand it. Earn ness of the evening,

your money before you spend it. Never “Miss N-Nancy,” resumed the Judge, run in debt unless you can see a way to after being set right, d-d-do y-y-y-ou get out again, Never borrow, if you can t-t-take J-J-Joe B-B-Bowers for å hus- possibly avoid it. Never speak evil of band, t-t-to the best of your knowledge ouš. Keep yourself innocent if you would

Be just before you are generand b-b-belief, or d-d-do you not ?"

be happy


any one.

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As from her blessed Eden home


Our readers, we feel sure, will share An up-country correspondent cracks the pleasure we experience in being per- us the following nut for the “ Chair:” mitted to introduce a few gems from the I observe that


readers mind of a lady whose contributions to in the last issue of the Magazine to a the journals of the South and West—we veritable “Ghost Story,” of which the might have said throughout the great renowned “Col. Taylor,” of the tripod, Valley of the Mississippi — have long stage and bar is the hero. In truth “ the since gained for her a reputation of which aforesaid” is “a fellow of infinite jest," she has just cause to feel proud. We and among other good things he has got have the promise that E. will contribute off in his day and generation the followregularly to our pages. Certainly, noth- ing, which deserves to be placed on reing could be finer than the following: cord :

It is a well known cant and slang cus“ MUST I LEAVE THEE, PARADISE?"

tom with certain sets when an individual

treats himself to a bran new suit, or even “ Must I leave thee, Paradise ?” Thus spoke the gentle Eve,

sports a single new article of wearing

apparel, to intimate that there has been She took her mournful leave;

a recent fire in his neighborhood. With agony of heart and brow,

There was a fire “to once'tin the She gazed upon the wild, Where she must make her cheerless home- mountain town where Col. Bob. Eden's once happy child !

sides and practices at the bar, which,

among other establishments, took in its “Oh! must I leave thee, Paradise ?” Again that mournful cry;

course all the clothing stores of the place. And every leaf and blossom thrilled

The owners implored the bystanders to To her deep agony:

aid them in “shaving te gootsch," and For blissful had the hours been Within each bower and grove;

the crowd pitched in and carried off the And God had walked in glory there,

stock of wearing apparel with a will. And bathed the scene in love!

The Colonel, who was aiding and assist

ing in the good work, not liking the disForth from the gate she sadly came,

tribution of the garments, addressed the With mournful step and slow; Her beauteous head upon her breast,

crowd in an indignant tone of remonBowed in despairing woe;

strance, with With heaving heart and quiv'ring lips,

“O come, now, boys, don't act the hog! She stood upon the wild ;

Don't all take coatssome of you take And heard the gates of Paradise Close on its banished child !

pantaloons !

The said appellant, however, "took A blessed Eden home had I,

nothing by his motion.”
Where flowers of beauty grew;
Where my young sisters round me smil'd,
And God was with us too!

We have always considered Fashion a For in our mother's earnest tone,

great humbug, but until we came across Such holy words were given;

the following in the last number of the That silently we caught each breath, And knew it came from Heaven !

Hesperian, we did not know what an aw

sul thing it really is : But now, afar from Paradise,

It is a shapeless agent, stalking abroad In mournfulness I roam;

and assuming all conceivable forms and Musing upon the golden hours

figures. It always wears a mask, and often That decked my happy home!

conceals beneath it the basest of human A stranger in the wilderness,

motives. It is the deadly enemy of reason, An exile on the wild

and its mission is to render mankind as I feel as did the stricken Eve

miserable as may be. It moves with stealthy An Eden-banished child !

tread through the halls of domestic peace,


and promotes discomfort in every house- fingers, emerged from the door of a ruined hold. It presents itself upon all public hut, and clasping her hands over the eyes occasions, to the exclusion of every worthy of the giant-like murderer, dragged him purpose. Its wants are insatiable; it is not shrieking to the deepest dungeon of the content to dwell in the humble cot, but castle. "Ha, ha! shouts the Whackini, with its ceaseless suggestions, it tortures from an adjoining cell, thou, too, hast every heart with discontent. Whimsical come down to these depths of woe.' as a bachelor, it poises the lady's hat high • Who speaks ?' said the unfortunate in the air, or suspends in the rear of her Knight, as he revived at the sound of human head, at the absolute defiance of all laws voice; at the same time he felt the gliding of gravitation. It reduces or expands, coil of a huge boa-constrictor gathering lengthens or shortens the skirt at pleasure. about his body. Anon it opens its vast It pales the cheek, pinches the foot, or tor- mouth, its eyes glisten like fire-balls—and tures the waist. It substitutes the smile it slowly devours its victim. Still does he and simper for the solicited song, and pos- shriek fearfully, and long after his bones sesses the happy faculty to conceal ignorare crushed by the remorseless jaws of the ance under a profusion of monosyllables. insensate monster, does that last heartIt thrusts the neglected infant into the nur- rending cry come up from the recesses of sery, and burdens the library with an un- his stomach. known jargon. It suggests the whalebone We pause here—the scene is too harrowand the cotton, the rouge and the perfume- ing for our nervous temperament, and we ry, as indispensable appendages to the can give but small instalments at a time.” gentleman's toilet. It delights in streetsmoking, profane language and brandy

TO * * toddies. It gilds conversation with unmeaning words, and rarely finds sufficient I miss the in the morning, incentive for action in an intellectual pur- When the birds begin to sing, suit. It is, altogether, a heartless tyrant, When the dew is on the flower and has never yet been discovered to be the

And the lark is on the wing, presiding genius of a prosperous people.

When all is bright and beautiful,

And nature seems to shine An exchange, received by the last With that quiet, peaceful beauty, mail from the East, tells us about a new

Which seems almost divine. and soul-stirring romance, entitled the

I miss thee in my daily walk, “Bloody Bushwacker," by the gifted As through the world I roam, author of the “ Phantom Gridiron, or the There is no one near to love me, Skeleton Feind of the Haunted Coal

To watch when I shall come, Hole !” We have room but for an ex

No eye to glance with pleasure,

No hand to clasp my own, tract;

No thrilling tones to welcome “Scarcely had the Knight of the Green The weary wanderer home. Garters uttered this thrilling imprecation, when the door of the prison was thrown I miss thee in thee evening, violently open, and from behind a tapes- When the day is past and gone, tried screen a man in glittering armor When all is hush'd and quiet, sprang upon him, and drawing a dagger Each hope and joy has flown. from his helmet, plunged it to the scabbard

I'm lonely then without thee, in the breast of the Knight. He uttered one The unbidden tear will start, long groan, and fell a corpse. No sooner

While memory's proudest gleanings had he ceased breathing, than, from a secret

Are busy round my heart. door, a stranger entered, and stealthily approaching him, struck him one fearful blow.

In dreams, I still am near thee; The unknown Knight fell senseless at his

That bright and gentle eye, feet. Ere a moment had elapsed, from be

Showers down its light upon me, hind an embrasure in the wall, stalked forth a giant-like form, who advanced steadily

Like moonbeams from the sky; towards the stranger, and seizing him by

Thy lips are on my forehead, the throat, tore his eyes from their sockets,

Thy form leans on my breast; and cast his head to the vultures of the Oh! why should I awaken, neighboring hills. Ere the quivering form

In dreams I still am blest. of his victim lay still in the icy embrace of death, a withered hag, with long, skinny | San Francisco, March 26, 1858.


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The second volume of our Magazine ends suffered from the incursions of the remorse. with the present number, and we cannot | less intellect of the Pacific Coast. Of the refer to the fact without making our most justness of the charges to which we refer, grateful acknowledgments to the gentlemen it is unnecessary for us to say much. That of the California press, who from the be- we have had, and still have, unblushing ginning have shown so whole-hearted a plagiarists amongst us, is too true; still, disposition to encourage and push forward we should take care that in our denunciaour enterprise. People may say what they tions of the guilty, we are not so sweeping please. For our own part, we love the as to cast suspicion upon those whose mergood opinion of our cotemporaries; and its entitle them to honorable distinction. frankly confess that to their kindly month- For example, we confess we are of those ly greetings we feel indebted for much of who can find nothing in the productions of the prosperity we now, after a labor of two our respected fellow-citizen, JAMES LINEN, long years, enjoy. We would, in this con- Esq., which warrant the savage and malignection, be pleased to reprint all the hand- nant attack made upon his reputation by some notices we have received, in order to one of the city papers. If some of his songs let our friends at a distance know what have the delicious tone and melody of a competent judges think of us, but to do so Burns, we should put it down to his credit, would occupy more space than the limits rather than strain a weak point to show of one number of our Magazine. One pa- too close a resemblance to the great Scotch per says “the great merit of the Magazine Bard, for honest dealing. Taking the is that the subjects it treats of are Califor- shameless expositions of plagiarism that nian, and come home to the bosoms and have been made in this State as a text, business of all Californians who love their certain critics have favored us with some adopted home.” Another says: “As the very learned disquisitions and essays on Magazine is the exclusive production of the subject of Literature. Indeed one would California, it has great claims on our citi- be led to suppose, from all that has been zens for a generous and liberal support." written on the subject, that some new and And such, we may say, is the almost uni- far more brilliant light than anything we versal opinion of the press.

have yet seen, was soon to burst on this

dark and benighted region. Now we have We have reached a pretty pass, indeed ! no particular fault to find with the literaWe have Scotchmen finding fault with the ture of California. On the contrary, we are sweetest of our ballad writers because, for- decidedly in favor of cultivating and ensooth, he sometimes breathes into his songs couraging just the sort we are now treated a spirit not wholly unlike that of the im- to. We, for one, are proud of our Califormortal Burns. We have Englishmen cry- nia writers. Taken as a whole, the press ing " thief:” every time they find a Cali- of our State, in point of taste, enterprise, fornia story-writer with the faintest touch vigor and genuine ability, will compare faof the genius of Dickens or Thackeray, or vorably with any in the known world ; any of the men of that lofty stamp. The while our weekly journals, devoted excluFrench and German prints we seldom read, sively to literature, have long since very yet we would not be surprised to hear that justly been pronounced as able and entercomplaints often proceed from those quar- taining as they are complete and perfect. ters, to the effect that their literary coun- We would not part with them for bushels trymen have, like other famous individuals, l of the namby-pamby “sensation " trash



imported into the State by each mail from good news, and such sad news! All about the Atlantic. It is not altogether impossi- the happy, joyous band of girls that she bly that the majority of those who are so played with. How beautiful some had shocked with what they term California grown-how accomplished others! How literature, are disappointed, unhappy spir- some of them had worn the orange wreath, its, whose own literary wares have been been led to the altar, and were now happy coldly received in this or some other mar- wives. How the trees had grown in the ket. Poor souls !

school-yard! And how Harry was going

to be a lawyer, and Ned a merchant, and A GREAT and good man is gone! Col.. Charley a printer-and many were at colThomas Hart Benton, the noble Missou-lege. And how, when the day was cold rian, whose proud boast in his declining and deary, the snow was brushed from off days was that he was a Senator of “six a spot in the church-yard, and a grave reRoman lustrums," has passed from earth! | ceived the form of one that she had so loved After a long life of unfaltering devotion to in years gone by, and whom she still loved his country, such as few have displayed, he-he, who carried her over the rippling gently whispers, “I am comfortable and streams in the wild-wood, and swung ber content," and drops into the arms of Death! | in the grapevine, and made her believe that He died as he had lived, with unshaken echo was a fairy nerve; an intellect pure, healthy, power- Gone when the flowers were all away,

When the bright sunshine was absent, ful, and hard at work. Mr. Benton's place

When no song-birds made music, in the Councils of the Nation has never When the singing brook was frozen up,

And all around was silent. Gone, been filled-perhaps never will be. There Where flowers ever freshly bloom. Where

Sunshine ever lingers. Where all is music, were giants in his day, and he was of them.

Where all are angels. Where God is King! He was in the 76th year of his age.

The story goes—and we desire to give it READER, have you a wife or mother, or without any speculation or addition of our brothers or sisters beyond the ocean that own—that Spriggins, the unfortunate indiseparates us from the rest of the world ? vidual whose troubles our artist has so You have? And do you write them by each graphically depicted in this number, came steamer ? No! Then we hate you for it. to California in the “flush times ”—made You are an unfeeling, cold-hearted wretch, money (of course) very fast—had a palace who doesn't deserve the prayers of that fit for a queen-drove his own horses-rode wife and mother, or the constant thoughts in his own carriage—drank his own wine of those brothers and sisters. We do not --and sent for his wife, the loved idol of believe there is anything in our nature his heart, to enjoy with him the rich fruits despotic or cruel, yet had we the power of his early efforts. That the better half," we would make a neglect to write home by though a plain, sensible, home-spun woman, each mail a high crime, and attach a heavy up to the time of her arrival in this counpenalty to all such instances. This we try, soon caught the prevailing infection would insist upon until Californians were and insisted on mounting a lofty horse. taught to perform what we conceive to be That he yielded, and rode with her. That their duty. Let us not forget home! In Spriggins was wrecked in the financial the change of seasons and lapse of years, storm of a later day, and consequently we little know what is passing there. A found himself unable longer to live up to young lady, with whose pleasant favors our the high mark fixed by his wife. That she readers are already familiar, writes us on grew furious. That he remonstrated, and this subject, and cannot fail to touch a ten-exhibited his cash account. That she rarder chord in the breast of those for whomed and stormed and broke things. That he our remarks are intended. She received struggled on until he became exhausted in a letter from home the other day : Such | mind, body and purse, when the deroted

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