SEDERUNT XXII. [Doctor, Laird, and Major.] LAIRD.-Sae ye hae been haudin St. rick's day in Toronto, I notice. beginning o' grouse-shooting! Brawly do I mind the wark that I used to hae aboot that Pat-season. There was nae end to the cleaning o' guns, and stitching o' leather leggins. DOCTOR.-Yes, and the festival passed off in a very harmonious manner. Such national celebrations are wholesome in the highest degree, and I should be sorry to see them fall into dissuetude. They tend to keep alive that amor patriae, lacking which, a man becomes a most repulsive and unwinning biped! LAIRD.-Never did ye say a truer word, than that, Sangrado. Here's wussing you a vera guid health for the same. MAJOR.-Does it not strike you, mess-mates, that as Canadians, we are much to blame for according no periodical honour to the tutelar saint of this noble Province ? LAIRD. I didna' ken, before, that we had a Saunt! MAJOR.—Why man, is not our leading river named after him? LAIRD. 'Deed that's a fact, but I never thocht that there had been sic a worthy. MAJOR.-I can assure you, that St. Lawrence occupies fully as conspicuous a position in the calendar, as his confreres of England, Ireland, Scotland, or Wales. DOCTOR.-By the way what period of the year is devoted to the commemoration of our patron? MAJOR.-The 10th of August. MAJOR.-In my humble opinion a general observance of the anniversary of St. Lawrence would have a most salutary effect. Canadians could then assemble as one concentrated people, devoid, on that occasion at least, of sectional or traditional jealousies, and thus our consolidation as a nation would be greatly carried forward and enhanced. DOCTOR.-Most thoroughly do I endorse and homologate what you have just propounded. It will be owing to no penuriousness of zeal on my part if a St. Lawrence Society be not in full blast, so far at least as Toronto is concerned, by the 10th of the ensuing August! LAIRD. You can book me as one of the stewards, and I hereby bind and oblige my self to supply my fellow office bearers wi' maple leaves, to prin on their white waiscoats. I hae a braw grove o' maples at Bonny Braes! MAJOR-If the fourth estate only take up the idea with a will, its realization is certain. LAIRD.-I am vera sure that they could na' occupy their columns wi' mair nutritious matter. It would be a million times mair creditable to themselves, and agreeable to the public at large than never devauling, snarling, and worrying at ane anither's heels! DOCTOR.-Talking of worrying, permit me LAIRD.-Just twa Cays antecedent to the to read you an epistle, which our friend, Mr. Maclear, recently received from a brother bibliopole of Edinburgh. It is somewhat of a curiosity in its way, and may be fairly cited as an illustration of modest assurance:- SIR,-By perusing the Ecclesiastical Missionary Record for October, (printed at Toronto) I perceive you are selling a pamphlet which I lately published, entitled "The Coming Struggle among the Nations of the Earth." As I have not yet appointed an agent in, or sent the work to Canada, I must conclude that you have published an edition of it, and not only so, but that periodical states, you are getting an extensive sale for it. Owing to its extensive circulation here, I have not had time to get it introduced into the British Colonial possessions, but fully intended so to do; you will therefore be good enough to inform me whether you will take that trouble off my hands by accounting for your sale, and entering into terms as regards profits, because, you know, the author's interests must be protected. I shall wait for your answer till the 1st of December, I say the first day of December, 1853, ere I take any further steps in the matter, by which time I trust you will have to hand an explanation sufficient to render such steps unneces sary. I am, yours, &c., THOMAS GRANT, Publisher, 21, George Street, Edinburgh. LAIRD.-I ken that I am no' sae gleg at the uptak' as some folk, and consequently ye must e'en bear wi' me, when I profess my inability to discover the assurance o' Tummas Grant, as manifested in his bit letter. If oor worthy gossip, Maclear, made free wi' the honest man's book, he certainly had a right to demand a share o' the bawbees realized by the Canadian edition. Of course, I speak according to my dim lights, and under correction. DOCTOR.-The cream of the joke lies here, that the Edinburgh Thomas has been guilty of the very delict which he lays at the door of his Toronto namesake! His "Coming Struggle" was purloined, neck and crop, from a book entitled Elpis Israel, written by a savant answering to the name of Dr. John Thomas. LAIRD.-A third Tummas! Och, its a queer concatenation o' designational coincidences. take. The whole affair is pestilently suggestive of the ancient suit, "Kettle versus Pot." LAIRD.-I say, Doctor, what braw looking book is that on which your elbow is resting? It would catch the ee o' Girzy, as women aye hae a hankering after red coats! They are peculiarly obnoxious to the scarlet fever. DOCTOR. The subject of your enquiry is one of the most readable volumes of travels I have fallen in with for a twelve month, and is entitled "The Cruise of the Steam Yacht North Star." LAIRD.-I have got fairly surfeited wi' Cruises! Every month a new one maks its appearance, and it is still the same, wearicfu' auld story! A shark or twa is catched-some land lubbers are shaved wi tar and rusty ironhoops when crossing the line-and the rest o' the story is made up o' palmtrees, fleein' fish, and a group o' natives, whose wardrobe is limited to pocket napkin about them, instead o' breeks. DOCTOR.-As a general rule, your estimate of the log books of modern voyagers is correct, but every rule has its exception. MAJOR.-Who is the author of the bro chure under consideration? DOCTOR.-The Rev. John Coverton Choules, D. D., a gentleman who has acted as chaplain to the expedition to which he is the chronicler. MAJOR. And what was the nature of that expedition? DOCTOR.-The writer himself, shall inform you. "Early in the spring of the present year; the attention of the country was directed to an item in the daily papers of New York, containing information that Mr. Vanderbilt was constructing a steam-ship of large dimensions, which he intended as a yacht for the accommodation of his family and some invited friends, in a voyage to the principal sea-ports in Europe. The announcement of this project excited a deep interest in the public mind, and the excursion became a promi nent subject of conversation. Mr. Vanderbilt was known to his countrymen as a thoroughly practical man, whose energy and perseverance, combined with strong intellect, and high commercial integrity, had given him immense wealth; all his undertakings had been crowned with signal success, and his great enterprise in opening a communication with the reputation in Europe; and a general expectation Pacific by the Nicaragua route had made him a existed that he would carry out his plan in a manner that would redound to the honor of the MAJOR-Verily the Tonson of Auld Reekie country. Various opinions were entertained as must be a paragon of modesty, and no mis- to his ultimate designs. Many imagined that Mr. DOCTOR.-In point of fact there is a quartette of Thomas's, seeing that the son of Faust who imprinted the Toronto edition of the libellus answereth to that name. Vanderbilt proposed to effect some great mercatile operation, he was to sell his ship to this monarch, or that government-or, he was to take contracts for the supply of war steamers; all sorts of speculations were entertained by that generally misinformed character,-the public. In February I was sitting with Mr. Vanderbilt in his library, when he gave me the first information I had received of his intentions, and he kindly invited me and my wife to accompany him to Europe in the month of May. The ship was then on the stocks, but he named the very day on which he would sail, and gave me the details of his proposed route, and from which few deviations were afterwards made. Mr. V. expressly informed me that his sole object was to gratify his family, and afford himself an opportuny to see the coast of Europe, which he could do in no other way; and he observed, that after more than thirty years' devotion to business, in all which period he had known no rest from labor, he had a right to a complete holiday." LAIRD.-I hae heard tell o' "merchant princes," and truly there was something princely in the idea o' this Yankee huxter. What kind o' ship did he build? DOCTOR.-The following are her dimensions: The "North Star" is of two thousand five hundred tons burthen, and the strongest fastened vessel of her tonnage afloat. Length of keel is 206 feet. 270 by being of the same colors, and presents a picture of completeness not often met with. A fine entrance saloon, leading from the deck, conducts, by an elegantly adorned staircase, to the main saloon. This reception saloon has a circular sofa capable of seating some twenty per sons, and is covered with crimson plush. Over the stairway is a good painting of Mr. Vanderbilt's summer villa at Staten Island, which was placed there, without his knowledge, by the polite attention of his artist friend." MAJOR.-It is not easy to conceive of an excursion containing more materials for pleasure, than the one planned by Mr. Vanderbilt. Was the party large? DOCTOR.-It consisted of MR. AND MBS. VANDERBILT, Mrs. James Cross, Miss Kate Vanderbilt, Master G. W. Vanderbilt, Mr. and Mr. W. H. Vanderbilt, Mr. and Mrs. D. B. Allen, Mr. and Mrs. George Osgood, Mr. and Mrs. W. K. Thorn, Miss Louisa Thorn, Mr. and Mrs. Daniel Torrence, Mr. and Mrs. H. F. Clark, Mr. and Mrs. N. B. Labau, Dr. and Mrs. Linsly, all children and grandchildren of Mr. Vanderbilt.-Also the Rev. Dr. and Mrs Choules, chaplain, and Mrs. Asa Eldridge, wife of the captain of the vessel. LAIRD.-Hoo did the recreative pilgrims Occupy themselves? DOCTOR. This little family party spent LAIRD.-And hoo was the vessel fitted about four months on an excursion to England, "The main saloon is splendidly fitted up with all that can tend to gratify the eye and minister to luxurious ease. The state-rooms, which lead from it on either side, are fitted up in the first style of the upholsterer's art. The furniture throughout blends in one harmonious whole; there are none of those glaring contrasts which are too often met with, and offend the eye and taste by their incongruities. This saloon is of beautiful satinwood, with just sufficient rosewood to relieve it, the work of which was executed by Mr. Charles Limonson. The furniture of the main saloon is of rosewood, carved in the splendid style of Louis XV, covered with a new and elegant material of figured velvet plush, with a green ground filled with bouquets of flowers. It consists of two sofas, four couches, six arm-chairs. Connected with this saloon are ten state-rooms, superbly fitted up, each with a French amour le gles, beautifully enamelled in white, with a large glass door-size of plate, forty by sixty-four inches. The berths were furnished with elegant silk lambricans and lace curtains. Each room is fitted up with a different color, namely, green and gold, crimson and gold, orange, &c. The toilet furniture matches with the hangings and fittings, Russia, Denmark, France, Spain, Italy, Malta, Turkey, Madeira, &c. The total number of miles steamed on their voyage is estimated at 15,024. Mr. Choules adds, "We were actually engaged in sailing fiftyeight days, making our average of speed to rate at two hundred and fifty-nine miles per diem, or within a fraction. On the entire voyage, our consumption of coal amounted to two thousand two hundred tons, averaging twenty-eight tons daily. It has rarely happened to any but those of our own party that it could be said, ‘we have been in the four quarters of the world in twentyeight days;' yet this was the case with our yacht." LAIRD.-Does Maister Jowles-or what ever ye ca' him-tell his story in an appetizing manner? DOCTOR.-Very much so indeed. He has the felicitous knack of describing things as he saw them, so as to bring the pictures vividly before the mind's eye of his reader. The only fault which can be found with the work is that too much prominence is given to the complimentary blow-outs bestowed upon the voyaging clan, and that some preposterous MAJOR.-You might as well snub a Highland man for not possessing breeches, as blame Mr. Choules for that latter failing, To laud the aforesaid "Pilgrims" is as instinctively natural in a New England Yankee, as it is for a duck to swim, or a pettifogger to rob you according to law. LAIRD. Did ony o' ye notice some verses which appeared the other week in a Toronto newspaper, written by the Rev. W. Stewart Darling? They have na' come under the scope o' my observation, but oor dominie, wha has a fine taste for poetry, tells me that they contain some sappy and fructifying ideas. MAJOR.-Your educational friend has demonstrated himself to be a correct critic. The lines to which you refer are far above the common run of lyrics, and for your solacement I shall read them to you: "LONGINGS FOR SPRING. Oh how I yearn amidst this storm and snow Oh when shall winter his wild reign forego, Oh, gentle Spring, Thy beauteous image rises on my soul, A hidden gush of joy upon the whole Over the mind in hours of suffering, Giving-ah, foe to death- Do make thee somewhat hoydenish withal. That thy bright eyes would grow suffused with mirth, Which, for the time, would take the form of weeping; But as those tear-drops fell, the grateful earth And marked the treasure-spots where they did Took them, as precious things into her keeping, lie And in thy brightness I will strive to read A symbol of a higher mystery. Yea, gladness cometh e'en with the thought of For outward things are but the sacraments thee, As the bright bubble riseth joyously With the pure water from the gushing spring. When wilt thou come, and with thy gentle force Drive winter hence, and for his ravings hoarse Make thy low laugh to ring Like a sweet strain of music, murmuring In soothing melody upon the ear Of the unseen and spiritual world beyond, Binding things hidden to the things of sense. That earth is but the winter of the soul; May I be ever taught, When with life's tempests worn and over wrought, By heart conceived, nor human language told, LAIRD. My benison upon you, Crabtree, That hath been torn with discord. Plume thy for the treat which you hae afforded me! wing, And hither bend thy flight, And with thine own bright glance of laughing light Wean us from out each close and stifling room, And shed around the delicate perfume Of thy sweet breath. I long more to feel its soft caress Circling my brow as tho' in tenderness Darling has got the real root o' the matterada can boast o' at least one legitimate son o' the true poetical fang. Blythe am I that Canthe Muses! We can reckon up a host o' rhymsters, but unfortunately the great majo rity o' them are on the wrang side o' the blanket! MAJOR.-I have just finished the perusal of one of the most idiotically mendacious productions which I have met with for many a long day. LAIRD.-Pity upon the delinquent who en gendered it. I can predict by the wicked twinkle o' your ee that you are about to lay on the tawse without mercy. Wha is the delinquent, and what is the name o' his literary backsliding? MAJOR. The former is Lucian B. Chase, now, or lately, a member of Congress; and his bantling is entitled "English Serfdom and American Slavery; or ourselves as others see us." DOCTOR.-I marvel, major, that you had the patience to wade through such a conglomeration of filth. The story is as wishy washy as the love tales of a magazine of fashion, and its exaggerations are destitute of point as the top of a darning needle. It was one of the tier of cells under ground-far surface of the earth. The merciful law-makers under ground-being the third tier from the thinking all persons who cannot pay their debta, no better than fossil remains, whom to put out of sight were as much a duty as to bury the dead. It was not enough, in this charitable and wise estimation, to restrain the debtor of his liberty; to withdraw him, as something that might contaminate society, from its presence; to put him aside as a man would old furniture; to conceal him from public observation, as the hyprocritical do their vices. All this would not suffice. He must be punished for his misfortunes; for, what right had he to be poor? If tightness in the money market resulted in failure, the victim should have known what was to happen. If the wheat crop failed, he should have sown rye; if oats were blighted, he ought to have sown more potatoes. Not being as wise as Omnipotence, he must be well punished. As thoroughly at least, as the most depraved villain in the land, because theives and black-legs occupied adjoining cells. But there is one excuse for the creditor; he will obtain his money so much sooner by keeping the debtor in prison! He can raise such quantities of grain from the productive soil of the stone floor: his commercial pursuits will prove so profitable, beneath the earth, because his ships can tack or run before the wind upon the moisture of the walls; and, laden with the wealth of the Indies, can sail through the channel of dark MAJOR. Quite true; but the book possesses a species of importance, from the political position of the author. He is one of Jonathan's "statesmen," and stands high on the bead roll of that Brummagem brother-ness which fills the aperture of the door. If the hood. prisoner is a poet, the vanities of the world will not become a rival to the spirit of song with which his soul must be inspired. He will unravel whole acres of harrowing poetry of the Byronic MAJOR.-Essaying the somewhat difficult description, (or what is the same, in its effect, task of manufacturing one white out of two been harrowed with a painful disregard for the whole acres of poetry, the language of which has blacks, this flatulent congressman seeks to rules of Lindlay Murray and Noah Webster) show that the "peculiar institution" is a spe-ings wrought up to most intense pitch of agony which those persons who love to have their feelcies of heaven-upon-earth, because some social and despair, may sigh and weep over to their abuses exist in Great Britain! Insolvent heart's content. debtors are sometimes incarcerated in England, ergo, quoth this second Daniel, there is no harm in translating an ebony man and brother" into a chattel! LAIRD.-But ye have na indoctrinated us touching Lucien's misdemeanors. DOCTOR.—The old story over again. Verily nothing so conclusively demonstrates the essential rottenness of slavery as the flimsy nature of the ablest attempts to defend or palliate the same. MAJOR.-Nothing could be more wickedly ideal than the sketches which Mr. Chase cooks up of Anglican abuses. Take as a sample the following precious passage. Christie Kane, the hero of the romance, having become insolvent, is immured in a cell of the county jail. It was scarcely three steps in length, and only wide enough for a foul berth, with room to stand. The jailor turned the key and the ponderous door swung upon its hinges—not rusty hinges, as the architect of that renowned "solitary horse man" delights in having it, but plain, unpre tending, unromantic hinges, that frequent use bread and a mug of unsavory water, which the had kept free from rust, and a piece of mouldy owner of one of Ham's descendants would think food too mean for a slave, were placed upon the floor. |