viour endeared, and grace given to kiss the rod, and cleave to him that had appointed it. And now I can read in legible characters, where in many instances thy checks met my wandering steps, stopt me short of huge precipices, and preserved me from destroying even my worldly comfort. In some instances, (I thank thee they have not been many;) thou hast been pleased to let me alone, to let me pursue my own way; ways so wise in my own eyes, that I have either not sought counsel at all, or sought it as Balaam did, with my heart set on my own will.

In some cases, thou hast let me eat of the fruit of my own doings, and let me weary myself in my own way, until I found it not only vanity and vexation of spirit, but sometimes a labyrinth from which I could find no escape; then did I cry unto the Lord: then did I remember my backslidings: then did I seek unto the cleansing fountain, and to the appointed Mediator, the maker up of the breach: then did I experience afresh the Lord's power

to save.

In how many instances has he given a sudden turn to providences, which have been made means of my deliverance; not only so, but brought good out of my evil, so that I have been made to wonder, and to say, 'surely this is the finger of God.'

I destroy myself, but in thee is my help found. O let these wanderings end: fix it deep on my mind, that in the Lord only have I wisdom as well as strength: that

it is not in man that walketh to direct his steps.' O when shall I learn to live simply on Christ, by the light of his pure unerring word, and the Spirit coinciding; and have done with these carnal reasonings, the wisdom of men! Search me, O Lord, and know my heart; try me and know my thoughts, and see if there be any wickway in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Amen.

ed

August 4, 1796.

A DAY TO BE REMEMBERED

Rose at four, not to mourn: no, but to repeat my grate ful thanks to my covenant God, for the work he finished

G

this day, last year. In delivering my weak, feeble, tossed, and tried Jessie from a body of sin and death, and giving her the victory through Jesus Christ, who loved her and gave himself for her.' To thee she was dedicated ere she saw the light: to thee a thousand times I repeated the dedication, begging that thou mightest bring her within the bond of thy Covenant: this was the sum and substance of all my askings for her, and all of them. I witnessed the time of her second birth, saw the tears of conviction and remorse. I witnessed thy loosing her bonds, and tuning her heart and tongue to praise redeeming love. I witnessed the teaching of thy Spirit, and the enlightening of her eyes, and the taste thou gavest her of thy salvation; I thought her mountain stood strong, and she would not be easily moved: but who can tell the deceitfulness of the human heart? Too soon did we all turn aside like a deceitful bow, forsook the fountain of living waters, and hewed out broken cisterns that could hold no water. Glory to God for the discipline of the Covenant, that he did not cast us off, but chastised and corrected. He repeated the discipline stripe upon stripe; I stood by and saw it, and though my heart melted at times, I said, "she is in her Father's hand, let him do his pleasure." I too was unfaithful to her, thou knowest, and often entered into the same vanity of mind which stifled the love of God in our hearts, instead of guarding her, and warning her: still, still, the Shepherd of Israel followed after both, and with the precious rod restored both, time after time, till it pleased thee to finish her warfare and deliver her from both body and sin. Lord, I thank thee for all the circumstances, for the privilege of attending her in her warfare, for the cheerfulness of her spirits, for the rich support we all experienced, for the view we all had of thy faithfulness and fatherly dealing, and for her last words, "all is well." O yes! every thing thou doest is well, and this was peculiarly well. I resigned her to thee with joy and thankfulness, and I still acquiesce. Her thou hast taken, me thou hast left, to be yet exercised with further discipline. It is well-thy will be done. O! help me to profit by every pang! Olet sin be mortified, and my soul

purified; enlarge my heart to run the ways of thy commandments. Now may I lay aside every weight, and that vanity of mind which doth so easily beset me, and hath been the secret spring of much backsliding both to myself and to my children. Lord, destroy it. O let me now live to God, closely and consistently? down with my will, with self in every form! O purify my motives, and let my whole heart, soul, body, substance, and influence in the world, be devoted to thee! O empty me of every thing that is my own, and let Christ live in me, the hope of glory,' and let the glory of thy workmanship in my soul, redound to thee, and thee alone! Amen.

August 13, 1796. COLOSSIANS, ii. 6. 'As ye have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk ye in him, rooted and built up in him, and stablished in the faith, as ye have been taught, abounding therein with thanksgiving.'

O Lord, this is what I pant after! I would fain have done with wandering. Lord, thou knowest, for the work is thine. I have received the Lord Jesus as thy gift to a lost world, as thy gift to me, an individual of that world; as having made peace by the blood of the cross, I account it a faithful saying, worthy of all acceptation, that Christ came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief.' I have received thee as the Lord my righteousness, crediting thy own word, 'Christ is the end of the law for righteousness,' and that 'there is no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus.' I have received thee as the covenant given of the people. In all the relations by which thou art held out to me in this Bible, so far as I know, or understand, I have received thee. I have no hope in myself, no trust in myself, nor any views of communication from God of any kind, but through the one mediator between God and man, the man Christ Jesus.'

O my God, what is my life, what is my happiness, but a continual receiving! Thou art the bread of life,' that must keep alive the living principle in my soul. In thee dwelleth all the fulness of the Godhead bodily.' Thy people are complete in thee; thou art their hea

they are thy body, and by joints and bands have nourishment ministered to them, and are knit together, and increase with the increase of God.

This, O this, is what my soul pants after, closer and more intimate union and communion. I would be transformed into thine image; I would be thy temple; I would have thee live in me; walk in me; make me one with thee: I would be delivered from self-will, selfwisdom, self-seeking: I would be delivered from that philosophy and vain deceit, which spoils souls, and leads them off from their Head. Lord, teach me a continual receiving; then, and not till then, shall I cease to wander, shall run and not be weary, walk and not faint.' Then shall I run in the way of thy commandments,' and no longer turn aside to crooked ways. Then shall I eat and drink, work and recreate all to thy glory. Lord, send thy Spirit into my heart, that he may continually 'take of the things of Christ, and show them unto me;' that I may grow, and be no longer a babe, but arrive at 'fulness of stature in Christ Jesus,' and more steadily, and more purely, and more zealously, and, O! more humbly, live to God, and glorify him in the world.

Amen.

April 14, 1797. ETERNITY seems very near. I have often thought so, without any visible cause. Well, it will come; a few more rolling years, months, weeks, or days, will assuredly land me on Canaan's happy shore. O then, shall I know and enjoy, what ear hath not heard, eye seen, nor heart conceived, even the blessedness that is at God's right hand. I have desired, although I know not that I have asked, to glorify God on my death bed, and to leave my testimony at the threshold of eternity, that not one word of all that my God has promised has failed. He has been, O what has he not been! In all my trials, all my afflictions, all my temptations, all my wanderings, all my backslidings, he has been all that the well-ordered covenant has said. Let this Bible tell, what God in Christ, by his Spirit and his providence, has been to me; and let the same Bible

say, what he will be to me, when flesh and heart fails;' yea, when the place that now knows me shall know me no more. Perhaps when the messenger does come, I shall not know him, but depart in silence. Well, as the Lord wills, he knows best how to glorify himself. Jesus shall trim my lamp, and perfect his image on my soul, sensible or insensible. I shall enter into his presence, washed in his blood, clothed in his righteousness, and my sanctification perfected. I shall see him as he is, and be like him.

Mourn not, my children, but rejoice; gird up the loins of your mind,' and set forward on your heavenly journey through this wilderness. So far as I have followed Christ, so far follow my example; still living on Christ, depending on him for all that is promised in the well-ordered covenant. O stumble not into the world, except when duty calls; at best it is a deadly weight, a great hinderance to spiritual mindedness, and in as far as it gets footing in your heart, it will not only mar your progress, but your comfort. Lord, feed my children constantly with thy flesh and thy blood,' that they may never hunger nor thirst for this world, but grow in the divine life, and in the joy and comfort of the Holy Ghost. Amen.

October 20, 1797.

How condescending is our covenant God! All we have or enjoy, is from his hand; he gave us our being; our lives, although forfeited a thousand times, have been preserved. Our bread has been given us, and our water sure; and not only these necessaries, but many comforts, and good temporal things have fallen to our lot; thou hast furnished our table; hast provided medicines and cordials when sick. Lord, I thank thee for all these mercies, but above all, that we can call thee our reconciled Father; that we have them not as the world have them, who are far from thee, and have no portion among thy children, nor interest in thy well-ordered covenant; but that we have them as thy redeemed, as part of covenant provision, and with a covenant blessing, and among the all things that work together for our good. Lord, enable us to be