to change her dress. In short, I promised every thing-and she will be here.' 'We must give her the line in the bills, for our own sake. Send to the printer. Hey! what is this dirty enclosure with a wet wafer?' 'Mr. Sathan brought it, sir.' Mr. Sathan; who is 'He keeps a theatrical and masquerade warehouse.' 'What is it 'He says it is due to him for the hire of a Turkish sabre.' he?' about?' -, Esquire, Manager of Theatre, To J. Sathan, senior. £14 1 0 'Do you It vash n't my Fore the lone of a Turkey saber, 281 nights 'Here must be some mistake; £14 for the hire of a sabre ! tell Mr. Sathan to come in. Now, Mr. Sathan?' 'Voud you be so opligin as to give me a horder or two for to-night, sir?' 'You do n't appear to be inclined to lose anything for want of asking, Mr. Sathan pray, what is this bill?' 'It ish a little account for the hire of a raal Turkey saber.' 'But 281 nights?' 'It vash in June last, sir; near the end of de season.' Yes; and used in a piece that was played for three evenings only, when it was withdrawn.' 'De agreement vash a shillin' a night for de hire of de saber.' 'Yes; for the number of nights it was actually used.' 'I did n't know nothin' of that there, 'pon my honour!' mean to say that it never was sent back to you?' pishiness to ax for it: I could not take sich a grate liberty.' 'And you charge for it all the time that the theatre has been closed, and a great part of the present season, although it has never been once used.' How do I know dat? Vy, you vent and kept it all de time. I could have let it out ever so often for fancy balls.' Fourteen pounds, one shilling; monstrous! What should you say was the value of this sabre, Mr. Sathan; to buy it out and out?' Oh, it's a very curish saber; peautiful article!' 'Yes; but the value; supposing you had to purchase it?''I should say, apout twopund-five.' And, for a thing worth two pounds five shillings, you have the conscience to ask fourteen pounds one shilling for the hire?"—"To be sure, and very raisonable: shuppose I had let it go on till dish time next year; see vat it voud have come up to; apout eighteen pund, odd, more. I think I hacts like a gentleman to you''Very: I shall dispute this exhorbitant charge— 'Oh, I knows I'm right; dispute it if you likes, I've ax'd Mr. Levi, my solicitor; he says as how he hopes you will dispute it, as it will give him a good job in his way of pishiness.' 'I won't pay so fraudulent a demand!'-'Oh, yesh, you vill, ven you comes to turn it over in your mind.' 'Good day, Mr. Sathan.'-'I am shure ven you conshidersThat is the door, Mr. Sathan.' sense -Vel, vill you give me some horders to-night? I vants Mrs. Sathan and her father, and three or four of my boys to see the non'Get out, Mr. Sathan.'—' Vell, then, I shall set Levi at you, that's all. I'm shure I've hacted like a gentleman to you: it's you as is wrong: you vo n't give me a horder? vel, vel, you'll be sorry for it.' (Exit Sathan.) 'Extortionate Israelite; no matter; for a brilliant close of the present season I have one grand coup! the new drama, for which I have paid the clever author one hundred and fifty pounds in advance: the subject is rather too radical; the sentiments too democratic; but if that play does not create an excitement, I will never pretend to form a judgment again. Three scenes are already painted; parts delivered; glorious subject (although it has been handled before by the poet laureat); WAT TYLER.' But my author has put it into a proper dramatic shape, every scene ending with an effect, and every act with a tableau. This tragedy will, at any rate, change our stern alarms to merry meetings' A packet, sir, from the Chamberlain's office.''What does this mean?' (Open and read.) St. James's. SIR-I am commanded by the Lord Chamberlain to apprise you, that the Manuscript Drama, in five acts, which has been transmitted to his office under the title of "Wat Tyler," contains immoral precepts, and being otherwise unfit for public representation, his Lordship hereby refuses to grant his license for the performance thereof. I am, Sir, your obedient servant, &c. &c. &c. There go one hundred and fifty pounds! besides the new scenery. Where is the bed of roses, on which I imagined I should recline?' "But my dear fellow, are you not going home to your dinner?' -' Is n't this enough to take away all appetite for a dinner! besides to-morrow is Saturday; and I must inspect and sign every one of these for payment.' 'What is that mass of papers?'-' Merely the weekly outlay, to be settled at the treasury to-morrow; only the salaries of the company-the band, the chorus, dancers, painters, property-makers, wardrobes, dressers, housekeeper, cleaners, watchmen, firemen, carpenters, copyists, soldiers, supernumeraries, children, bill deliverers, lampmen, gas-lighters, printer, advertisements, candles, oil, hair-dressers, military band, licenses (Wat Tyler excepted), ironmongery, turnery, basket-work, colours, music paper, stationery, tinman, florist, drapery, hosiery, timber, laceman, ropes, canvass, brushes, authors, and law expenses, box-keepers, money-takers, check-takers, candle-stickers, police, call-boy, and coal-porter, besides a portion of nondescripts which cannot possibly be imagined anywhere else than behind the curtain of a theatre!'" THE RETIRED TRADESMAN. BY JOHN OGDEN. If any traces of the Golden Age yet linger upon earth, where should we expect to find them but among the favoured few who, in the general scramble, have been fortunate enough to secure a reasonable quantity of that "precious metal" from which the blissful era derives its appellation? Whatever may have been the case in Arcadia, it is greatly to be feared that in this ungenial clime-at least "within the memory of the oldest inhabitant "- -the possessors of gold have been the sole realisers of the Golden Age. Poets and their deluded followers have been weak enough to seek a figurative solution of the phrase in question; supposing it to refer to a period of time when mankind were all equal, and all contented: a state of things in conformity with the description that good old Gonzalo gives of the commonwealth he wished to plant in the Enchanted Isle: "All things in common, nature should produce To feed my innocent people." This picture serves very well to make poor folks' mouths water; but unluckily puts nothing solid into them. Practical men, like the subject of our present sketch, are not to be misled by the mischievous Jack-a-lanterns that frisk about in idle play-books: they have looked steadily at the scene before them; taken things as they are; and laboured successfully to clutch the literal substance; while enthusiastic theorists (to speak of such triflers with corresponding inflation of style) have been diving into heliconian buckets, and bringing up nothing but handfuls of metaphoric moonshine. In sober truth, a tradesman who has run a prosperous career in a healthy and active business; who has honourably acquired a competence ere the winter of his days approaches; who is moreover of a UU |